We banged that bitch out!

And by bitch I mean that lovely She-Shed that we bought from American Steel.

We bought two lovely metal carports. One is 12×20 and will be the new home of L2L Store. We are taking the lovely two doored, windowed canopy that was previously the L2L Store and repurposing it to Women of Color space. the windows and the openings will offer a great cross breeze ventilation while offering a good shelter for their space.

The other carport is garage size, 24×24 with 10′ clearance for the door. We named her the She-Shed. We bought both carports and had them installed but we did not have them install the walls and doors since Monica and crew have the capapilities to save MFR some money and we can install themselves ourselves. Yay for saving money.

There’s an even bigger yay for me. I feel like I learned so many new skills. I also got the opportunity to practice newish skills to get better at them.

I have always had an uncomfortable relationship with drills. I wanted to conquer my uncomfortableness and move towards being comfortable doing different things. I wanted to improve my skills in carpentry and especially with a drill.

I also have a healthy respect for heights. Or let’s be real, I am a little terrified at certain altitudes.

This weekend I got to face both of these fears and get more comfortable. I climbed up a 10 foot ladder that wasn’t any too stable. I had a tool pouch on that was filled with screws. I had a drill. I was ready to go.

I struggled with the wobbliness of the ladder. I struggled with the screw that wouldn’t go through the sheet metal. I dropped about 20 screws drilling that first one. But I stuck with it.

By the end of the day, I had a super sore shoulder and arm and a blister on my hand from drilling all day.

In my mind, this is how I looked….LOL

I also learned how to set up the pump and clean the water totes. Again, it might seem like simple things to you. But to me, I feel powerful learning new skills. I love it! And I was able to assist with having water in the motor home, Moldy. I cleaned, scrubbed, and rinsed the tote. Then filled it again, took it down on Red and got in place to fill the motor home. YAY.

I also learned hand signals to help guide someone that is operating machinery like a tractor with a lift. I want to be able to clearly communicate and guide the operator and I want to understand when someone is guiding me. Whoot! Whoot! Whoot! I do love driving “my” tractor!

I learned a lot of putting together the sides of the She-Shed. I’m so grateful for the new skills and knowledge i gained.

I am especially thankful for being able to practice communication skills. I practiced listening. I practiced walking away from stress. I practiced talking soft. I practiced the pause. I practiced asking questions and listening. I practiced not taking things personally. I practiced letting go. I practiced forgiveness. I practiced kindness. I practiced the pause. I practiced not owning someone else’s stuff. I practiced self love by knowing my worth. I practiced seeing someone else’s pain. I practiced empathy. I practiced boundaries for myself and my ownership for my stuff and other people’s stuff.

The only way to get better at something is to practice. I want to keep getting better at my existing skills. I also want to learn new skills. Plumbing, electrical, using equipment, backing up trailers, lol so many things to learn. I also want to learn how to be a kinder person with an open heart. I want to learn to be a master communicator. I want to learn to be patient. I want to learn to be loving. I want to learn to be inspiring.

I will. I know I will learn all these things and more. Why? Because I am a bad ass and I keep getting more bad-assery 😉

I choose YOU….You are my people…and ME!

Were you bullied as a child? Did you get picked on? What was your “thing” that you didn’t want people to know about? Was it your clothes? Your car? Your mom? I’m sure there was something that you were picked on. Your phone? Your lack of phone? Lol those weren’t MY problems during grade school and high school.

The Diana Award has conducted a cross-section study in 27 schools across the UK and found that children were most likely to experience verbal bullying with 82.6% young people stating they had experienced this form of bullying.

https://www.antibullyingpro.com/factsaboutbullying?gclid=CjwKCAjwqqrmBRAAEiwAdpDXtJ7od_At-I9ZK22psm8ZazgeNFZ4ps7hjI8Nr02t6rV4QpUhoiMkTBoCOGoQAvD_BwE

Whatever it was for you, more than likely it was something. There was a mean kid. Some guy used to bark at me when I was 11. It was awful. I was new in the school and when we changed classes (super small school), he would bark at me. Turns out he had a crush on me. Yes, that was a sign of affection, bark at a girl. I felt ugly and “doggy”. Misperception on my part, miscommunication, and misogyny on his part.

Beyond, the obnoxious boy, there were the mean girls. They were just mean for no apparent reason. They had uncanny ability to make you feel small and “less than”. Somehow it (I/you) wasn’t good enough. Our clothes were nice enough. Our jokes were funny enough. The car was a beater. They were awful. They are awful. They are still out there. Bullying is awful. Telling stories that aren’t true. Making things up, twisting your words, or adding words when you didn’t even say them. SOMETHING. They were mean in so many new and innovative ways.

Thing was, we were trapped. It made it expontially worse. Increased fear. Increased anxiety. Increased feeling of lack of control. I could not leave. We could not leave. We were stuck with this kid in school. FOREVER. If your high school was good, it was good. But if it sucked and you had mean girls that managed to permeate every area. It was awful. And there was nothing you could do about it. You were in school, a minor, with no major decision making process. You couldn’t get away.

Throughout, my many lifetimes, I had different degrees of outside friendships. For way too many years, I was home raising the kids. I homeschooled. The homeschool group we associated with was a mostly loving group. And if there were some bratty kids, we dealt with them. We were pretty involved so we could do something about asshole behavior. If it didn’t work out, which I don’t ever remember it not working out, we could choose to hang out with another family or group.

And through the years, I have experienced challenges. I went through a divorce, choosing to become a single mom, with 8 kids under the age of 14. I didn’t have a job or any training. I had no clue how I was going to manage. I managed. I made some bad decisions with my poor coping skills. But I made it through without any anxiety medication. I made it through stronger and wiser. Although there more lessons to learn.

I almost lost my home. My ex-husband took me to court every month while I was in nursing school. I figured it out. I got into several bad relationships. My ex-husband continued to terrorize me. I made bad mom decisions. I stayed in places because I felt stuck. I felt I had no choices. I made the choices. I did. I stayed stuck and continued being hurt because I felt I had no choices. That I was stuck. I wasn’t stuck then. But it felt like it. I believe I was. So I was.

Now I am again experiencing some meanness. Just meanness and division for no apparent reason. Life happens. Hurtful things happen. I have done many hurtful things. I have hurt people for sure. Because I was dumb. Because I didn’t know how to manage my emotions. Because I was impulsive. Because I was overwhelmed. Because I was sick. Because I was in pain. Because I was stressed.

Because.

Because.

Because.

But then I felt bad. I felt really bad. I went through dissonance because my actions were not aligned with my intentions. I hurt people I didn’t mean to but I did.

Thank the Goddess I did. Thank the Goddess that I felt bad, I felt guilt, I felt sad and hurt that I hurt people. So I did a lot of soul searching. I did a lot of work. I did a lot of work. Wait.

I did a lot of work. I fucked up a lot. I had to keep saying I’m sorry for the same thing over and over. I didn’t like any of those feelings. And I wanted to have a better impact. I wanted my love to show through and not my feelings of inadequacy, my feelings of smallness, and of not being enough to continue to prompt me to “show my ass” and act out impulsively.

I kept apologizing. I keep trying to do something different. I am love. I believe in people. I believe in women. I believe that most people are doing their very best. I believe in community. I believe in building each other up. I believe that WE ALL CAN BE AMAZING and that it is not necessary to tear others down (anymore) to make myself feel strong and powerful.

I am happy to be that person. I happy with my love for others, my willingness to get vulnerable, ask more questions, and do better. We can do better.

I have struggled writing this part right here. I want to bring it full circle to get to the place where I make the point that I am not trapped anymore. But to get to that point, I have to reveal something extremely personal. I have struggled with a “good” or “political” or “socially acceptable” way of saying something without putting all of my business out there. But I just don’t know how.

I feel betrayed. I feel hurt. I feel attacked and terrorized. I feel that I can’t escape because I love this community. I love this community and believe we all belong. But recently because of just pure meanness, I have felt once again betrayed and unloved and not good enough. I have felt that I cannot get away because of continued rumors. And then to have people believe the rumors without ever asking any questions. That’s what really gets to me. It hurts me that not only is she hurting me, she is creating division and chaos in so many people in this, my community. I love this community and this is tearing me up.

Through all of my life trials and tribulations, I have not taken anxiety meds. I am considering taking anxiety meds. I am not sleeping. I am not pooping. I’m fatigued all the time. I don’t know how to release this hurt and pain when it seems it will never stop. It could possibly hurt my business. It is hurting my passion. I feel trapped.

I want to put on a big show of being okay. I want to put on the smiley face. I want to be strong and “show them” and basically by my smiling face make people believe all of the lies. If they didn’t believe it then. They won’t believe it now.

I am me. I am loving. I am good. I have people that love me, believe in me. those are my people. I chose those people. I choose my loving sisters. I choose my sisters, my tribe. I choose those people. Those are my people.

Fuck the rest.

#findingmyjuicy #livingmybestlife

HECK YES, I’m BLESSED

I had a major panic attack today. My head started bulging and I thought it would explode all over my office. Yeah, my office. I got an office. That’s pretty cool, yes? It is pretty cool. It’s not the prettiest. It’s not as nice as my last office. Yet, I love it more. I have to share my office with the care coordinator. It’s wonderful.

My head didn’t explode all over the office or the care coordinator and for that I am really thankful. My chest started filling and got tight and it hurt so badly. It felt like what I would think a heart attack would feel like. Pain spreading across my chest, I could hardly breathe. My face filled with pressure. I thought it would burst.

I breathed. I think the anxiety was caused by feelings of hurt and betrayal that I am still processing. And processing. And processing. When I think I am getting better and the hurt and grief is starting to fade, I find out a new little tidbit that smashes me in the gut and in the heart and I get overwhelmed with hurt and anxiety. Again.

I dreamed about it last night. I was having an event. there was a stage but it wasn’t MFR. I had some people that I don’t know who they were but they were performers or an integral key to the production. I didn’t see them but then someone gave me a bag. Something in that bag revealed them for being not good people. Whatever it was revealed that those people were traitors and not on my team. Then it flashed to the main traitor and she pulled off her clothes to reveal different clothes that somehow indicated to me that she was a “sheep in wolves’ clothing”. She then started terrorizing a local sister. the sister didn’t want to be involved but she was being controlled and terrorized. I didn’t recognize the wolf in my dream but I did recognize the sister that was being terrorized. It was awful. It was stressful. It was hard to shake that dream and even 8 hours after waking up, I remember it. #payattention #allwillberevealed

Even though I am feeling anxious, I am thankful that I have the tools and the resources to work through my panic attacks.

I know how to do deep breathing.

Deep breathing is one of the best ways to lower stress in the body. This is because when you breathe deeply, it sends a message to your brain to calm down and relax. The brain then sends this message to your body. Those things that happen when you are stressed, such as increased heart rate, fast breathing, and high blood pressure, all decrease as you breathe deeply to relax.
The way you breathe affects your whole body. Breathing exercises are a good way to relax, reduce tension, and relieve stress.
Breathing exercises are easy to learn. You can do them whenever you want, and you don’t need any special tools or equipment to do them.
You can do different exercises to see which work best for you.

https://www.uofmhealth.org/health-library/uz2255

I know how to be mindful.

Whenever you bring awareness to what you’re directly experiencing via your senses, or to your state of mind via your thoughts and emotions, you’re being mindful. And there’s growing research showing that when you train your brain to be mindful, you’re actually remodeling the physical structure of your brain.
The goal of mindfulness is to wake up to the inner workings of our mental, emotional, and physical processes.

https://www.mindful.org/meditation/mindfulness-getting-started/

I know how to redirect my thoughts and reframe the self talk that might be causing my anxiety.

I also use yoga to help me get through my anxiety attacks. With using a combination of deep breathing, mindfulness, and bringing that to movements that stretch me, I able to calm myself and get out of the anxiety attack quicker. Although, in the moment it feels like it will never end and I might just die or at the very least, I will explode all over and I will never be able to put the pieces back together.

I also practice emotional freedom technique (EFT) and know that is very useful for getting me out of whatever emotional turmoil I am experiencing, WHEN I REMEMBER TO USE IT!

What is EFT tapping?
Emotional freedom technique (EFT) is an alternative treatment for physical pain and emotional distress. It’s also referred to as tapping or psychological acupressure.
People who use this technique believe tapping the body can create a balance in your energy system and treat pain. According to its developer, Gary Craig, a disruption in energy is the cause of all negative emotions and pain.
Though still being researched, EFT tapping has been used to treat people with anxiety and people with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

https://www.healthline.com/health/eft-tapping

I have many, many tools in my arsenal. I have worked for years in mental health and on my mental health. Yet, i still blow a gasket and my face melts from anxiety. I have many resources in my community to turn to for support. I have wonderful friends and a loving tribe. And still I experience ridiculous anxiety attacks. I have a great job and a home and great kids. Still, I live through many anxiety attacks. I have so many blessings. Yet, I still get overwhelmed with panic and anxiety.

See how that works???? Even with all the tools, a safety net, supportive friends, and community, I still experience debilitating anxiety. For most people, we tend to deny or minimize these experiences. We think we can just think our way out of it. And yes, when I use my tools, I can get out of it. But it wasn’t easy. And it doesn’t always stick. And I have to keep working at it over and over and over. It is a process. Not a destination.

It’s hard to remember that when we are in the thick of mental illness with ourselves or with a family member. It’s time now to become more aware and help those that can’t always help themselves. All of these tools are effective in solo or in combination. Sometimes it takes more. Sometimes we need medication. There is no shame in that. It is another tool in our toolbox.

#supporteachother #anxietyisreal #nojoke #beloving #dobetter #findyourtools #findingthejuicy

YAY Monday!!!

It’s such a new feeling to be excited about Monday morning. I was happy for my weekend. I spent yesterday doing me. I putzed around. I babies my headache. I wasn’t overcome with dread for returning to work. I was excited.

It’s refreshing to be excited about my life. I haven’t been excited about my job in quite some time. It’s exciting learning new things and feeling like I am part of a team and doing something that makes a difference. I’m appreciated for the job I do and I feel that the rest of the team values me. Feeling appreciated is a very powerful incentive for me.

Today, I waited too long to write my blog so my thoughts are all over the place. I asked a friend what I should write about and she said,

“Hmmm for today write about how untreated mental illness destroys peopleNot just the mental person but everyone”.

It’s true. I have worked with the mentally ill in the past. I work again with the mentally ill. The population I work with is living in adult foster care homes. the goal for my program is for the residents to eventually transition back into the community so they have more independence than previous populations I have served.

I see every day the hurt and the pain and the drain it can have on a family when one member has a mental illness. What makes sense to us, does not make sense to them. They do not process life at the same speed or in the same direction as “normal” people do. But it’s not fair and it’s not right to categorize people without mental illness as “normal”. there is no normal. How can it be normal to not have a mental illness when according to National Association for Mentally Ill:

Approximately 1 in 5 adults in the U.S.—43.8 million, or 18.5%—experiences mental illness in a given year. Approximately 1 in 25 adults in the U.S.—9.8 million, or 4.0%—experiences a serious mental illness in a given year that substantially interferes with or limits one or more major life activities.

Mental Health By the Numbers | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental …

https://www.nami.org/learn-more/mental-health-by-the-numbers

That means for most of us, we either live with a mental illness or we know someone in our friend circle or family that has a mental illness. Still, we pretend that everything and everyone is normal. If it is something we are not used to doing or experiencing, we call it crazy. While it might seem perfectly normal to someone with a mental illness.

We continue to learn more about the mind, brain, and how many people are affected by mental illness and still the funding for treatment has been slashed repeatedly. It is a common excuse for mass shootings: He was mentally ill, we don’t need to have gun control, we need more mental health funding. The logic and argument is flawed but there is truth in the statement. We do need more mental health treatment funding.

Over the past three years, states have cut mental health funding by more than $2 billion. Things may get worse this year. Some states will have even more difficulty balancing their books because of the absence of federal stimulus dollars.

https://www.governing.com/topics/health-human-services/Troubled-State-Mental-Health-Funding.html

The point of this blog is not to advocate for more mental health funding, or maybe it is. What I am trying to get to is that not only does mental illness affect the individual, it affects the partner, the family, the neighborhood, the schools, the community. Mental illness affects everyone that it connects with and that reach is long.

Families that have mentally ill family members do not always know how to respond. They do not know best how to support the MI (mentally ill person) nor do they have the support to learn more and give more support. We cannot give what we do not have. As the family gets more confused and more drained financially and emotionally, they do not get the support or education that they need. They do not know how to encourage the person to get treatment or how to love that person without reacting in anger and frustration.

The family (or friends) are expected or called upon repeatedly to be understanding while not understanding the situation themselves. It is hard to not be frustrated when someone keeps doing the same action over and over with no regard to the effects of their actions. While in truth, they often are incapable of understanding the ramifications of their actions. They do not have good reasoning abilities or they do not have the energy to take care of themselves. The family becomes constantly drained while not having the support themselves in terms of self care or understanding from outside of the family unit.

It is a never ending cycle of lack of support for the mentally ill and for the support person. And where does the family support system get their support from? There are community resources but it becomes very disjointed and hard to coordinate and fund. The funding is not for respite or support for families it is for the mentally ill. And the cycle continues.

Why Care?
The WhyCare? campaign is an opportunity to share the importance of mental health treatment, support and services to the millions of people, families, caregivers and loved ones affected by mental illness and a challenge to address broken systems and attitudes that present barriers to treatment and recovery.

https://nami.org/Get-Involved/Awareness-Events/Why-Care?gclid=CjwKCAjwwZrmBRA7EiwA4iMzBLsZwU_ZaQrekfMoVlYf1GVtj1i3e-A28U3tJgpPrqO7OFlBPNDh2BoCHGIQAvD_BwE

Living with and supporting someone with severe depression is draining. It takes a toll on all those affected. Again, what is the solution? What I propose is that we learn to support each other better. Find your community, your tribe. Talk to those you can trust. Trust that someone will understand and be there for you. The government is not going to step in and “do the right thing”. Their monies are going elsewhere like funding wars. We as a community need to step up and help each other.

I’m getting tired now so I am probably rambling but I did want to bring up this sensitive subject. It’s not a research paper. There is much more to this than what is in this brief blog. I work with the mentally ill. I find it valuable work. I can make a difference with the MI and with the family. Can you help?

Whether the ill person is a son, daughter, husband, wife, brother or sister, you will be affected by their illness too. A person with a psychiatric disorder often needs a lot love, help and support. At the same time, the problems, fears and behavior of your ill relative may strain your patience and your ability to cope.

#mentalillnessawareness #helpeachother #supportfamilies #findingthejuicy #somuchmore

Mental health awareness week starts every year on the second Monday in May – in 2019 from 13 – 19 May.
In a world that is increasingly opening up to – and understanding those with – mental health issues, it’s no surprise that Mental Health Awareness Week is now a firmer fixture on calendars around the UK and beyond. It’s organised by the Mental Health Foundation, and focuses on a major issue each and every year.

https://www.awarenessdays.com/awareness-days-calendar/mental-health-awareness-week-2019/

FRIDAY!!

I am so proud of myself. I finished my 2nd week of work. I don’t really know why I thought I wouldn’t get a job. Truthfully, I could have started working after two weeks but I had a vacation planned. I took off a month because I could. I’m thankful for finishing this pay period.

I am settling in at my new location. I have cleaned my office to the best of my ability. I have negotiated some deals to get continued cleaning services. I have rediscovered my love of being in mental health. I love being in this setting. I love the controlled chaos. I love the challenge of starting something and getting interrupted 15 times before I finish it. I have brought in my stones. I have put a schedule on my door. Boundaries are good!

One thing I haven’t done yet is come out. I have talked about my friend and friends. I have shared that I produce a women’s music festival. They don’t know that it is spelled with a “y”. They don’t know that my friends are all lesbian. I don’t know that it would matter. But the truth is I am a little nervous. I want to establish my relationship with the people I work with before I kick out the closet door. Me. I am hesitant to be my lesbian self and that feels all sorts of wrong. Yet, I still don’t feel comfortable to be me, all of me, card carrying lesbian that loves women and everything about women.

So on this day of National Lesbian Visibility Day, I am invisible to my peers.

I don’t know what I think will happen. I don’t want to be judged. I don’t want the staff to feel uncomfortable like OH MY GODDESS there’s a woman, I must hit on her. Is that what straight girls think? I think often they do think that. At least my friends that are straight that I have hung out with had the impression that we (lesbians, in general) couldn’t control ourselves around women. Now who does that sound like?

Is it ever the woman that finds herself out of control with lust, power-hungry, control, or rage to such a degree that she is unsafe to other women? Or is that a stereotype that is perpetuated by the patriarchy? Most men historically have been fearful of women. Especially lesbian women. they do not understand us and the stereotypes abound. Stay away from the lesbians, it’s obviously contagious. HELL YES, it is, have you ever been with a woman? If you have, you know what I mean. If you haven’t, I’m sorry.

On this day of lesbian visibility, I would love to share my coming out story. I have been out for about 6 years, I think. No wait. I think I came out in 2012, maybe. So, that would be 7 years. I will figure it out at some point and remember that time so I can keep track of it. Or maybe not, because it really doesn’t matter.

I know that since the time I came out I have become the best woman I have ever been. There were other changes that happened during that time. I finally was working as a professional. I gained confidence and swag. I started learning my value. I started feeling that I was enough.

During that time I was working in an adult foster care home/campus for the mentally ill. I was the health & Wellness Coordinator. I was a fairly new nurse and I was suddenly in a position of administration. I had an office and I was part of the admin team. I quickly learned to love the feeling of being in that position. I loved my job. I loved my staff. I loved my office. I loved what I was doing.

And then I fell in love with one of the staff. A woman. A very young woman. She was all the things that I shouldn’t be dating. She was closer in age to my oldest daughter than she was to me. She was my staff. We worked together. I was her supervisor. I couldn’t resist her. I wanted her so badly. Her smile. Her body was okay. But I wanted her. I wanted to feel her lips. I wanted to feel her all over. I wanted everything.

I didn’t feel confused. I didn’t feel bad. I didn’t feel ashamed. I felt want and hunger and passion. I felt alive.

I started inviting her over. She hung out with me and my kids. My kids loved her. Not as a my girlfriend but as a buddy, remember? She was close in age to them. LOL>

Then I got outed. My daughter (#5 child) was going through my phone and saw some dirty, lustful, HOT, PASSIONATE texts between me and her. #5 told #1 child. During one of our bonfires, I was sitting on the toilet and #1 confronted me in her slobby drunk way. Imagine said young woman slurring and flopping and flinging her drunk body as she confronted me…poor me trapped on the toilet with my pants down. “Mom….I know your dirty little secret. YOUR a lesbian. Whatssssss going on????”

As I sat there with my pants at my ankles, still sitting on the toilet, I said, “you know, I don’t know what is happening. I do know I want to find out more and when I find out what’s going on, I will let you know”. By the end of the weekend, the girls (I have 5 daughters) had a big pow wow. They all hugged me at the end and told me to find me and be happy. #blessed #grateful #lesbianmom #theyseeme

I quickly, very quickly, realized that the girl was not the one for me. That was perfectly okay. She was the one that sent me over the edge of lesbianism. She was the one that brought out my inner dyke. She was the one that entranced me or un-entranced me enough to step out of what I thought my life should look like and journey into an unknown life. She was the one that inspired me to move onto my next life. Thank you. I am so very thankful for that girl. I am so very thankful for that crush. I am so very thankful for being brave enough to find out more information, ask more questions, and take the chance on changing my life and turning it upside down. No, that was not a 69 joke. lol I love lesbian jokes.

Since that time, I have dated several women. I learned to be more visible. I learned to be more comfortable being a lesbian. I settled into my dykey skin. I breathed into loving women. I learned to love women. I learned about lesbian stereotypes, jokes, uhaulers, and lesbian bed death (I could have skipped that lesson, thank you very much).

I learned that being a lesbian is being an activist. I learned that staying visible is not always easy. We came out of the closet and fought hard to be visible and accepted and now it seems we are learning to hide again if we identify as women loving women. As the world turns…

I love women. I love being a lesbian. It’s my sexual identity and it’s my culture. I surround myself with women and most especially lesbians.

#findingthejuicy #livingmybestlife #lesbianproud #lesbiansarethebest #lesbiansovereverything #lesbians #pussyjuicecureseverything #lesbianvisibilityday2019

I won’t find juicy unless I find gratitude so here I go…

I am so very grateful for the women in my life. Thank you for my car that is a bad ass Silver Broom for this witch. Thank you for my new job. Thank you for monthly nursing meetings. Thank you for this meeting that was boring and informative and helped me feel like I am part of a bigger network of nurses working together. Thank you for my new job.

Thank you for speedway points. thank you for grouchy teenagers that make me so mad and proud. Thank you for my daughter Callie who went and got bread, milk, half & half so I didn’t have to go shopping for my coffee creamer or milk for the boy. I’m thankful for being good tired.

I’m thankful for new beginnings. I’m thankful for endings. I’m thankful for not being stuck. I’m thankful for being open to change. I’m thankful for possibilities. I’m thankful for faith. I’m thankful for my perseverance.

I’m thankful for the gift of forgiveness. I’m thankful to be a forgiving person. I’m thankful for my cats, Bella, Dionysus, and Lucy. My favorite familiars are all black cats. I”m thankful for the unconditional love of my dogs. I’m thankful Isis is not pissing on the floor anymore.

I’m thankful for my mac. I”m thankful for my phone holder in my car. I’m thankful for learning new boundaries. I”m thankful I’m not mean. I’m thankful to be loving. I’m thankful I get to be a mom. I’m thankful for this house that I raised all of them in.

I am thankful that I get to go to sleep tonight and I will be thankful to wake up in the morning. I’m thankful for having a voice. I’m thankful for my fingers. I’m thankful for all of the ways I get to be me. I’m thankful to have a chance to recreate me over and over and over. I’m thankful.

I’m thankful for my Warrior Workers. I’m thankful for Monica. I’m thankful to be a lesbian. I’m thankful for L2L. I’m thankful for MFR. I’m thankful for dusty and Moldy. I’m thankful for Wash. I’m thankful for my elders. I’m thankful for the wise sisters. I’m thankful for all of my Framily.

#juicy #findingthejuicy #livingmybestlife