I am so exhausted. There was a women’s dance last night. The first women’s dance since February 2020! Wow. I really didn’t realize how much I was missing women’s energy. I didn’t realize how much I had missed dancing and people. It was absolutely wonderful. The music was fun. The conversation was entertaining.
I had another realization of the new freedom and juicy that I am living. I realized how magical my MFR work crew experience has become.
Every Saturday is work crew. It has been that way every year since 2017, starting in March. Every Saturday and most Sundays. In the past, I was sooooo ready to go home after work crew. Even though, I thought I loved doing the work, my attitude was to get the hell away from the farm. I would always start out the weekend very hopeful that I would enjoy quality time with my ex-producer/partner. The reality was that we didn’t have quality time together. It was not enriching for my body, mind, or spirit. It was not fun. It was not magical. It was not juicy. But i was always hopeful that I would get that love, that energy, that attention, that quality time, that feeling of joy and juicy in our work and our time together. It didn’t happen.
By the end of the work crew, I was ready to get the fuck out of there. I was done. I was exhausted, usually annoyed, angry, and hurt. I would rush out of there, ready to get back home. Back to comfort and peace because I was not getting that when I was in that relationship and that space.
While I knew, cognitively, that we were creating magic, we were not magic together. And of course, that “magic” permeated my experiences. I wanted the magic but it just wasn’t comign together.
OH MY GODDESS.
Now, my life is so dang juicy and fun.
I have a wonderful partner that adores me all the way down to my foot funk. She supports me and the festival. But our relationship and our time together is not dictated by festival. We are not compelled to spend “quality time” together just for festival. That really was the only time my ex and i spent together.
This past weekend, we spent it at Warrior Work crew, staying in our delightful Polly pop-up. We worked and laughed and kissed and laughed and worked. The whole weekend is a wonderland of ways to create magic & community while spending time together.
GODDESS, I am blessed.
After spending time with a sister, laughing and chatting around our tiki torches, we crawled into Polly and spent more time making out and laughing. Giggling. God we have so much fun.
We spent Saturday working on different projects at the Farm, working towards a common goal: create a safe space for women and produce a festival.
When we finished our soggy Saturday work crew, the women were able to quit early (130pm!!). they worked so damn hard, in the rain, completing projects. They left and the sun came out. I asked my boo if she wanted to stay and relax for a bit. We ate our left over burritos. We talked. We cleaned up camp. She took a nap. I kept working for a bit. Then we packed up and came home to get ready for the dance.
This happens almost every weekend: staying later at the farm to enjoy the space together. And it has never happened, EVER, before.
For that, I am incredibly thankful, joyful, and juicy.
Today, was my day of rest. I am exhausted. I chose to not open an email. Not promote anythign for MFR. Instead, I took the day for me. I went to my friends’ pool party. i spent time with wonderful women, splashing in the water, and once again, filling my soul with women energy.
My life is so damn juicy.
My boo, my sweet Minnie 💜❤️💜