Week 2 ish

When making a change in my life, I find it is very important for me to set realistic goals. While my head says just freaking do it, do it all!!! My schedule and my day to day life says, whoa, Sister! Love yourself enough to take your time to do it right without shaming myself if I am not able to do as much as I want to do. Such as setting goals of 3 days a week of yoga instead of every day when I am getting back into the rhythm of doing yoga on a consistent basis.

My goals for my #findingmyjuicy were to commit to daily meditation of the ho’oponopono prayer. If you are not familiar with this powerful Hawaiian prayer. Check this out:

I have been doing this for 5-10 minutes every morning before I get out of bed which was my goal for the month. Check, check, and m**f**ing check.

In addition, I wanted to meditate for 5 minutes, before getting out bed, on gratitude. I have been grateful for my recent vacation to Nashville, my visit with my daughter, Natalie, my friends, new friendships, being brave, Brene Brown, learning to dissect my story, my car, my son being home and improving, my job, nurses, among other things.

Both of these items were easy to do but remembering to do it was more challenging. I changed the name of my alarm to Meditate so it would prompt me when it went off in the morning. I have been consistent in my practice. I am pleased with myself and my follow through but I also want to improve my practice this week. I plan to add more emotion when offering my gratitude. By adding emotion to the words, it will become more of a brain imprint, a memory per se. In addition, the law of attraction states that the more you feel you have something, the more you will receive. By expressing meaningful gratitude, I will be open to receiving more of that juicy. #claimingmyjuicy

I also committed to doing cardio and/or strength training 3 times a week. I hit that target and I have started this week strong.

It’s been a week which is only just a start but it’s a start. You can’t have a long commitment to something unless you START and I have started.

Since starting my #findingmyjuicy challenge, I also started taking an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication. I am unsure of which part of my daily regime: the medication or the lifestyle changes are making the biggest difference in my life but I am feeling more peaceful.

My friend with the mental illness has found some stability. I don’t think he is fully back to baseline but he is so much closer than he was 6 weeks ago. I have been able to go on a vacation which was wonderful. I also was able to spend some time with a dear friend. It was amazing. The laughs were abundant and amazingly healing. Spending time in the water was magical. Being in community with other women, specifically lesbian women, was sorely missed and very much cherished.

Overall, I am pleased with myself. I have changed my position to change my emotions and my energy. Life is not feeling as chaotic and uncontrollable. My feelings are not stuck on perpetual tears. I am hopeful. And stressors don’t feel so overwhelming, daunting, and life altering. I am feeling better. Go me. #findingmyjuicy

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