Choices! Do you have choices?

I was walking through my campus today and confronted by someone that was very upset because they were going to have a medication increase. This person has a guardian and does not get to make those decisions for themselves. they are on court order to be in this facility. I am not advocating for less medication for them because they are truly manic right now and need some stabilization. What I felt after walking away was deep to the bone gratitude for the ability and the power to make choices for myself.

I experience quite a bit of stress in my life. When i say stress, I just mean pressure, additional things on my plate, more balls in the air, not with any judgment or DIstress, just a lot of stress in my life. I take on a lot of projects. I involve myself in a lot of community activities. I work a lot of hours. I socialize for my side job. All of these are choices that I have made to fill my life. It can get a little overwhelming but I choose to keep myself and my life full.

I choose now to pursue a master’s in nursing, psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner. I am really, really excited about it. I see endless possibilities and a bright future!! I choose this. I will need to keep reminding myself that I do **choose** to be in school. In actuality, I am blessed to be able to choose this. But it’s going to be tough. I know it’s going to be tough. I look forward to it. At least that’s what I am telling myself. I have to remember what I want to be, a psych nurse practitioner. I need to remember to keep my eyes on the prize. Otherwise, I might get overwhelmed and DIstressed at the pressure of working through a master’s program, producing a festival, being a mom, a friend, and a professional socializer 😉

I truly do have a full, bountiful, and abundant life! I could simplify and at times, I do simplify. I try to keep one day per week sacred and never leave my home. I try to veg with my daughter and watch trashy programs on Netflix. But even if I am busy that day too, I get to choose this life.

Not only do we get to choose the people we associate with but the jobs we have based on the choices we made in pursuing some sort of education or training. All of our lives are a series of choices based on the options at the time. But sometimes those choices are not the same for each socioeconomic status you have.

Poor people don’t have the same options available as rich people. White people have different choices than black people. Systemic racism and white entitlement are real things. Nobody how much some people work, they will not have the same options and opportunities. #truth #whiteprivilegeisreal #blacklivesmatter #fightracism #fightsystemic

People with mental illness do not have the same choices. They make decisions without being fully capable of making those choices. They have rights and freedoms reduced because they are medicated, guarded, or on court order. Or they just don’t have the strength to see the choices available. They just can’t see the life before them because they are mentally and feel things and see things differently. They can’t just get unstuck. They can’t just do it. They can’t. Not because they choose to be lazy. They can’t do it.

I am blessed to be able to make choices in my life. I have made many bad choices that set my life in a certain direction. Then I made other choices that changed the trajectory of my life. I started a new life. Every day I am blessed with the ability to choose.

I choose to wake up early. I choose to take a shower. I choose to go to work. I choose to cuss someone out…or not. I choose to be kind or I choose to be an asshole. #choosekindness

I am mostly happy for the choices I have made in life. Best thing is I can keep making choices that are healthy for my mind, body, and spirit…or not.

I can choose. #choiceisablessing #findingthejuicy

It’s easy to forget how blessed we are and how many things we can control when we get bogged down with life. Remember you can choose differently. There are always consequences that might cause stress. But there are also opportunities that hide behind the choice. #choosejuicy #choosekindness #chooselove

PS

Here is my testimony of invisibility as a 50+ year old woman

I went to planet fitness on Alpine Ave, Grand Rapids tonight. I forgot to bring my change of clothing into planet fitness. it was still in the car. So when I went out to the car, I decided to do a social experiment. I took my shirt off in the doorway of my car, slipped my dress over my head, and pulled my pants off and switched shoes. I did this in the parking lot of a busy planet fitness while parked near the front door. Not one person turned their head to look at me while I did this. lol oh fucking well! #seeme #payattentiontome #imaleo

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