Day 9 of my birthday month

How have I loved me let me count the ways…

  1. I am not feeding into self destructive thoughts, words, and deeds against myself.

too many times, I talk to myself in ways that I would never allow my friends or kids talk to themselves. When I catch myself in the middle of bad self talk..that was dumb. I am dumb. Or if I am beating myself up for staying stuck in a situation that is not good for me. I stop it. I made mistakes. I am evolving and learning and as I learn WHAT my mistake is, I will continuously evaluate so I don’t keep making the same mistakes and embodying the definition of insanity. Part of learning to stop talking bad to myself and moving on from past is learning to forgive myself. It’s much easier to say than to actually do. When we are emotionally berating ourselves, that is not forgiveness. And even when we say we have forgiven ourselves, if we continue to make statements that allude to that time or that person or that act, we might still need to take the time to forgive ourselves and let go. I have made a lot of mistakes. I have to continually practice the act of forgiving myself because I know that I haven’t always really let it go. It shows in ways that I let others manipulate me (freaking kids) because of various mom guilt I have. #letitgo #loveme#talknicetome #metalknicetome #forgivemyself

2. Letting go of situations that hurt me

I am a very dedicated and committed person. If you are my friend, lover, or family, you are pretty much stuck with me for life. I forgive easily (others) and stick it out. I look for the good in a person and I try to find a way to find a solution. Well, sometimes that solution is outside of myself and I just can’t fix it (or them). But because of my people pleasing tendencies (yes, this all goes back to childhood stories that I believed that I wasn’t good enough), I won’t let go. I want to fix everything for everybody all of the time, especially for me. Not anymore. If it quacks like a duck, waddles like a duck, it is probably a mothaf**n duck. #quackquackmf

It’s not okay anymore and never has been okay to be treated like a child, to be demeaned, to be ignored, to be talked down to. It’s not okay to not feel that you can voice your opinion. It’s not okay to be treated like an idiot because you disagree or ask questions. It’s not okay. It never was and never will be. #happybirthdaytome See, the part of me that is the little girl that feels it’s okay to be not so nice to me because I don’t feel I am good enough is already yelling at me…”why are you so dumb? why did you put up with it? it was YOUR choice”. Yeah, it’s hard to break the habit of talking bad to yourself and it’s not always easy to forgive yourself. But I know that as I slowly learn to love myself and forgive myself, the love for myself will expand into all areas of my life. #learning #stillevolving #bestme #livingmybestlife #thankfulforthelessons #imlistening

3. Be impeccable with your word

While driving from Madison, WI this past weekend, I listened to the Four Agreements. The first agreement, be impeccable with your word. there are so many ways this agreement is applied in my life. There are so many ways to apply it to my life but the one that resonated with me the most was be impeccable with my word TO MYSELF. If I make a promise to myself to work out, read, pray, meditate, or eat healthy, those are words to myself. And if I can’t keep my word with myself, will I respect myself and love myself? I am worthy and ENOUGH to be paid attention to…even and especially by myself. So I carefully made my short term goals for the week. When I made a goal or set a challenge, I was careful to make sure I would follow through on my contract with myself. #beimpeccablewithyourword #ipromiseme #keeppromises

I have been wanting to write more but life is pretty busy. I went to the National Women’s Music Festival this past weekend. I heard some amazing music by some crazy talented performers. I had deep conversations with so many people. I was hugged and hugged a couple hundred women. I heard a much needed key note by my new shero, Lisa Vogel. #thankyoulv #thankyoulisa I was admonished by queens to love me and be a Queen. I was lovingly upheld and supported with hugs and words. I was reminded to be true to me. I was reminded to be me. I remembered that I teach people how to treat me. It was a fantastic weekend. #findingthejuicy

Happy Birthday to ME! Happy Birthday to a beautiful, smart, driven, motivated, kind, loving, dedicated, empathetic, supportive, inspired, creative, sexy, organized, skillful, and so much more womyn. #happybirthdaytome

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