What are you trying to manifest in your life?? I decided a while back, maybe about 6 months, maybe more that I wanted to manifest #findingthejuicy. I sought to find all of the joy out of every experience even the ones that are uncomfortable.

There have been lots of uncomfortable times since this quest to find the juicy. I have had my “feelings hurt” by others. Yes, they were hurtful. They were shamefully assholish. No denying that. But that doesn’t really matter does it? It doesn’t matter what someone else does. It only matters what I do. Why? Not because I’m a doormat and I want to be treated like shit. But because I can only control MY actions. I can choose to stay for the bullshit behavior or I can choose to walk the hell away. Boundaries have been set. That’s not always comfortable but it’s juicy because it indicates that there could possibly be some growth and change. Maybe.

But there’s been a lot of delightfully pleasant and MORE than comfortable experiences. I have worked out. I have learned about kundalini yoga. I have listened to masters and mistresses and all of their TED talks. I have listened to gurus and wise women. I have listened and learned so many things. I have started meditating.

What the hell??

Me, meditating? I never would have imagined that I could stay still long enough to meditate. I’m thankful that I listened and learned. I started paying attention. I started being in the moment. I learned to be present. I learned to let things be. Baby steps. These little baby steps of concentration have taught me to meditate. I don’t know that I can convince you of the absolute empowering and invigorating powers of meditation. While it takes away from my time, it also helps my bend and manipulate time by increasing your productivity and your concentration.

Besides. Sitting still. Just sitting still with whatever is happening right now is POWER! POWER! It means I give up control of everything else. Just me. I just have to do me. I don’t have to control others feelings or experiences. Not my shit.

That being said, I am responsible to question MY SHIT. I just don’t get to accept MY story just because it’s what I feel. It’s my responsibility to get vulnerable and ask questions. Thanks Brene Brown, you bad ass Amazon leading us to be our best selves. I need to clarify what story I am telling myself and why? That way I will know if I am setting the appropriate boundaries or just barricading and protecting my fortress. I don’t want to protect my fortress. Well fuck. I don’t want to protect any fortress, I don’t want a fortress. I want to be able to feel and be vulnerable with my feelings and not always have to guard myself. And that requires trust. Trust is tricky and trust is juicy. It means I am believing in something good. I trust that this is going to be good. I trust. By clearing out myself and the stories I tell myself, I can get real with my feelings with myself and with others. I can get clear with what I want and what i don’t want. Because I know me. And I have rooted out my fears so I don’t have to keep telling myself the same story. Ya dig?

Finding the juicy is a boss thing to manifest. It encompasses all areas of my life. i want a juicy and abundant life with great friends, great and passionate love, deep relationships with my family and friends, juicy, ya know? I want juicy toys and vacations. I want a juicy profession. I want to have juicy experiences. I want it all. The deepest and most juicy part of the peach, I want all that. I want it all. #manifestthatshit #workthroughit #findingthejuicy #livingmybestlife

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