It’s amazing how taking a pause is so therapeutic, helpful, and NOT hurtful. Part of me wishes I hadn’t vented last night in my hurt. Part of me wishes I hadn’t shared my hurt over people lying. Part of me wishes I had paused and not shared how hurt I am that people are willing to believe the worst about people instead of believing the best about people or at the very least, asking more questions.
Only part of me wishes that. The other part accepts that I have taken the time and energy to be transparent. I am grateful that I am willing to be transparent in my feelings, intentions, and actions. I am grateful that with me, what you see is what you get. The good, the bad, the sexy, the firecracker, the humble, the weak, the angry, the joyful, the juicy, ALL of ME. I share all of me with transparency.
I do not hide my joys. I do not hide my fears. I do not hide my frustrations. I do not hide my pain. I do not hide my gratitude. I do not hide my fuck ups. What you see is what you get and for that I am proud of myself. I do not have to hide behind any lies or falsehoods or fake personalities. If I fuck up, you and I know it. I give all myself humbly and juicily. I am not ashamed of being me or sharing me. I am proud of myself for being open to suggestion and guidance. I’m proud of myself for asking for others to keep me accountable. It’s not always comfortable. It’s not always easy. It’s always humbling. It’s always a growing experience and I am blessed that people care enough to take the time to speak to me about me. I’m also very grateful that they trust and have the ovaries to be honest and direct. #findingthejuicy #juicyaf #adultinglikeachamp #vulnerability #grateful
For all of those things, I am grateful. Venting is not wrong and it can be very therapeutic. I rely on my tribe to allow me to vent so I can release my original hurt and pain. But also, I release all those emotions so it does not fester inside of me. It allows me to work through the process quicker. By releasing the frustration and pain, I can come to compassion, forgiveness, and love. And I do love. I love hard. But sometimes I forget the love in the original feelings of pain and hurt. I’m happy that I released those feelings of hurt and frustration but did not hurt anyone in the process.
I’m grateful that I took a pause. I am grateful for not hurting anyone in my hurt. I believe that way too many times, hurting people hurt others. I really do believe that people are doing their best. Sometimes their best is hurtful. Those people (and I am those people many of the time but I am getting better) are hurting. Instead of digging in and asking questions about what story they are telling themself, they lash out and hurt people. Instead of trusting and taking the chance to get vulnerable, they place blame, get indignant, and dig in their heels to protect their story. I’m grateful that I don’t believe the first story I told myself. I’m grateful that I have the courage to be vulnerable and hold myself accountable. I’m grateful for me.
A robin came to visit me today at work so I looked up the spiritual meaning of robin…
The robin is a small bird that may have many symbolic and spirit meanings. … In old mythologies and legends the Robin as a spirit animal was also a symbol of passion and honor. It is also believed that the robin is a divine bird. The robins are also called spring birds because they symbolize renewal and new birth.