Well all good things come to an end…that’s a saying, isn’t it? But it’s not a very good saying. Why do all good things need to come to end? Can’t they just transition and morph into something new and even better or at least just as good?
I was listening to a guru the other day while I was driving. I don’t remember who it was but I do remember that she said how you treat your work is how you treat the rest of your life. I had to listen to it a couple times to let it sink in. What I got from the talk is that if you cannot find joy in your work, you cannot find joy in your vacation…
I started thinking about my last job. It didn’t matter how many days off, I didn’t seem to be able to get rejuvenated and ready to be my best. I was on this quest to #findingmyjuicy and yet, it seemed like such a struggle to find some joy. I found joy. I found it the most when I was in a state of gratitude. when I was truly thankful, I was happy…er. But it wasn’t enough. I still felt like my life and juicy was being sucked out of me by being in that state.
Was the state my job? Or was the state my mind? I think the answer is yes. I think I was not living my life in alignment with my values, beliefs, or goals. I was in a state of incongruency and it didn’t settle well. Living out of balance is not comfortable or healthy. It’s hard to find your juicy when your lips are stating that but your actions are not following through with what you say you want to do.
Kind of like when we started building a festival, Michigan Framily Reunion, and it was a great success in 2016. And then we expanded into a bigger property and to a 3 day weekend instead of a one day event and the work kicked our butts. It was so much work to prepare the festival space while producing the festival and my stress was off the charts. My coping skills and communication skills with my partner were extremely challenged. I ended up acting in a way that was not in alignment with my values. I wanted to create a safe space for women and I was the one that was creating unsafe space with my attitude. It sucked. It hurt my heart. It hurt my business. It hurt the people that I love and that I wanted to help. My actions were not in alignment with my stated values and mission. I was a mess. But I wanted to be in alignment. I had some work to do and I was ready to start the work. #neverendingwork #totallyworthit #findingmybestlife
I have dug deep since that time. I have searched my soul, my heart, and my mission to make sure that my actions for MFR were in alignment with my values and actions. I have explored my attachment style, my communication style, my coping skills, my stress level, my anxiety, my goals, my dreams, my life mission, and my passion. The work is hard and grueling sometimes. It’s joyful and juicy at other times. It’s enlightening and it’s sobering. It is the most important thing I will do for myself. I’m not done. #wonteverbedone
Which brings me back to today being the end of my last life. I worked somewhere that I was not happy with and which was not juicy for me. It paid the bills but many jobs can pay the bills. It was time to leave but I was not “strong enough” to leave. The spirit was willing but the flesh was rooted in fear. The universe gave me that nudge. #thankful #manifestthatshit
I lost my job. It scared me so dang much. But I came up with a plan. One thing I know about myself is I am resilient, strong, fierce, and determined to rise. I am hard working and optimistic and I always find a solution. So while this seemed to be a set back and it seemed out of control and scary, it was a redirection that I had been asking the universe for so I can be my best. I wasn’t my best self in that position. #thankyouuniverse #amazon #livingmybestlife
The universe also provided me with a month of “no work”. I say “no work” with quotation marks because I worked so hard during that time, every day, I was running and exhausted. I was busy, busy, busy. I know that I will squeeze all of my life back into the time and space that includes a 40 hour “real” job but I am not sure how I did it. I know I did it and I know I will do it again. But SHEESH. lol
So today is weird. it’s my last day of “freedom”. I could look at it that way. Or I can look at it this way: I am starting a new journey this is going to be exciting, fulfilling, and NOT something that I need freedom from. I have always had the attitude that I work so I can live, not live to work but I want that work to be fulfilling and heart filling. I am about to start that.
I am blessed that I had the time off from “real work” to clean up some areas in my life. I sorted through contracts, paperwork, emails, and kids’ stuff. I also sorted through and clarified my intentions and my life purpose. I am on the right track. I am manifesting my best life. It is not always easy but it is always juicy.
Since tomorrow is starting my new adventure, I am also going to restart my self challenges. My shoulder is healing so I will be starting a more intense work out schedule. Okay, I’m going to be honest here, I am going to restart A work out schedule. I have been dedicated to my kundalini practice, I have not been as faithful to my fitness routine. It’s time to get back into that habit.
#findingmyjuicy #gome #fierceandfabulous #readyformynextadventure