It’s been four weeks that I have been independently managed and owned. I have been my own boss. I was able to choose what I wanted to do with my time, energy, and resources.
I didn’t have a steady income coming in but I did have some money saved. Four weeks of independence. During that time, you would think that I had so much free time. You would think that I had time to watch Netflix and chill. You would think that my house would be pristine. Along that same vein, you would think that my body would be tight and hard from the extensive work outs that I have done. Not even a little bit for any of that is true.
The first couple days were extremely stressful. I cried so much. I was mad at myself for once again shooting myself in the foot. I was mad at myself for putting myself in a position of starting over and being insecure and having fear. I was (mostly) comfortable in my last life. I had a pretty good paycheck. I had good benefits. I had an office. I had a gym onsite that I could work out during my lunch hour. I had no joy. I loved what I did but I didn’t love the environment. I didn’t like the culture. It affected my attitude and I was not happy.
I also was looking for something more. I was looking for something more from the universe. I was meditating. I was changing my energy daily. I was working out and sweating. I was visualizing. Yet, I was too fearful to make a move.
The universe had another plan. Not only was I pushed out of my comfort zone and needed to find another source of income. I phrase as another source of income because I don’t want just a job. I don’t just want to work for someone. I don’t just want to pay the bills. I don’t just want to survive. I want to thrive.
I got busy really quickly to distract myself from my fears and anxiety. I quickly applied for multiple jobs and started going on interviews. I was offered both of the jobs that I thought I would want the most.
I also had a spring break with the kids planned. We took a lovely road trip to Hot Springs, Arkansas. During that time, I worked on myself every day with yoga and meditation. I worked on being: being still, being present, being loving, being a mom, being a woman, being.
I have also spent a lot of time doing what I love, working on MFR and L2L Promotions. I have finalized the line up. I have created many promotions. The website has been updated. I took the time to evaluate what I really want to be doing with my life.
I have been busy as hell. I truly don’t know how I am going to fit into my busy life.
I spent time with people that had broken connections. I spent talking to people. I spent time building connections. I spent time rebuilding connections. I loved it. And I am pretty good at it. I enjoy very much talking with people and helping them to see where they are and where they are going. I love helping them work through things. I love building connections. I love connecting the dots. I love motivating people. I love helping them help themselves.
It’s why when I was given the choice between two potentially great nursing positions I chose the one that I think will make my heart sing. I want to do something where I feel like I am making a difference. I don’t just want to collect a paycheck. I don’t just want to be a body. I want to make a difference. I also wanted to work for a company that was invested in their employees. I don’t want to be just a body. I want to be a valued part of the team. I think I am going to get that in this new position.
I will also be able to work on my skills in talking to people. I will be helping them problem solve. I will be redirecting. I will be working in mental health. I can’t wait!!!
I do believe that I am on the right path. I do believe that I am finding my calling. I do believe that all of the skills that I am working on will enhance my overall skill set. I think each of these stumbles, falls, and climbs back up have only made me stronger. Each hurt has taught me another lesson. Each stumble has taught me to keep getting back up. Each instance has been another story that I can share with others to help them to learn and claim their strength.
I feel a deep sense of responsibility to others. I feel compelled to help if I can help. I want to connect people if I can connect people. I want to inspire people to be their best selves. I want to motivate people to do their personal work. I want to help people find themselves.
I am thankful that I got this time off from a job. I am thankful that I was given this time to search myself. I am thankful for finding my strengths. I am thankful for recognizing my weaknesses. I am thankful for my falls. I am thankful for my rising. I am thankful for all the love that has been given to me. I am thankful for my new job. I am thankful for new opportunities. I am thankful for new possibilities. I am thankful for me. I am thankful for you. I am blessed.