I started out yesterday with several kids. My oldest daughter, Alexis, and her husband Dan, Natalie, my 18 year old, and Callie, my 25 year old, all boarded Dusty for our next best adventure. We headed south on 69 which is never a bad position for a lesbian. Yeah, I just made a dirty joke in the same paragraph while discussing my kids and our journey. Deal with it. That’s not a part of me that will change. I’m not even trying to change it.
As we journeyed south, the weather was crap. It was raining and the windshield wiper was not hitting the windshield. I had to strain to see the lines in the road, especially when it was still dark and the headlights were glaringly bright in my eyes. But eventually it got brighter and I could see but still straining. Fortunately, when we stopped for gas, Dan was able to tweak the wiper arm and BOOM! I had a clear windshield. Smooth sailing now.
As we traveled through Indiana, my heart started to sing. I could hear the kids laughing and picking on each other. And of course, they were picking on me. I am always the best brunt of kids’ jokes. They so enjoy watching me blow up, start spitting and spluttering so they can laugh at me. I don’t care. It makes me happy to hear them laughing. I didn’t blow up though.
And we kept driving. The scenery changed. Indiana. Kentucky. It rained. It was gray. It was misty. It was foggy. It rained. And I kept driving. I was and am very proud of myself for driving the whole way. It was challenging in the construction. I white-knuckled it a little bit during the construction. But overall, I am getting pretty comfortable driving Dusty and that feels good, powerful.
We got to the hotel in Nashville/Franklin. It was a lovely Hilton. Well, I thought it would be lovely. Although we got there 2 hours after their stated check in time, one of our rooms was not ready. After some finagling, they were able to get us checked into our two rooms. Then it got even more frustrating. One of the rooms was not clean. There was meat under the bed. There were candy wrappers under the bed. How did we find this out? Oh yeah, that’s right, my daughter smuggled her puppy in to the hotel that doesn’t allow pets. And he found the meat under the bed. I was proud of myself for stating the issues without getting loud and rude. The management was extremely apologetic and gave me vouchers for 4 free breakfasts and 25,000 reward points since the rooms were purchased through expedia and could not be refunded. Okay. It was unfortunate that the food and service at the hotel restaurant were extremely disappointing and gross. Sigh. I will be writing a review to Hilton when I get some energy.
The best part of getting to the hotel was finally getting Aurora. My friends Jen & Colleen picked her up from the bus stop and brought her to the hotel for me. Yay! It is great to have my wayward child back with us for however briefly we get her. #welcomehomechickadee
It’s amusing to hear the same old routines from their childhood being slipped into. Aurora will start antagonizing people but she’s so funny and engaging when she does it, we all just keep laughing. Natalie gets her pout face and gets frustrated and keeps saying the same swear word over and over. jesus H christ. Alexis will slide into mom mode but it’s a little different now that she has a husband. She moms her siblings and kind of moms her husband. Callie gets mad and then peaceful then stand offish and then wise. #lovemychickies
It was fun hanging out in the hotel. I was able to talk to the kids about themselves and their futures. It seems sometimes as they leave the house that I ran out of time. I felt that I had so much more to teach them but they were not willing to listen or learn. They knew it all. Just ask them. It made me so sad to have lost so many opportunities. But it wasn’t lost. The opportunities to teach and guide my children will continue to present themselves as we gather and spend time together. That maybe the most important message I was able to give them when I shared with them how much I want to be a part of their lives. I was lamenting missing Kateri, #5. I was talking about how much it hurts to know that she hid that she was living with a man and that even now that they are engaged, I still have not met them. While she claims she has no time and she tells her siblings she is fearful I will judge him or their relationship, I don’t care what or who he is as long as he and my daughter are happy together. I want to share their lives. I hope for that still. I’m optimistic that it is still possible.
So much more happened. I finished the drive to Hot Springs today. It was 6 more hours of driving. I did take a break and had a weirdly situated nap curled up sideways mashed between food boxes and let Dan drive. I must have been exhausted. I slept.
When we finally got off the highway, we wound our way around and up a mountain to get to a beautiful 5 bedroom home. It is absolutely gorgeous. I am very thankful.
I want to add more. I want to talk about how happy I am. How thankful I am. But I am exhausted. Here are 10 things I am thankful for.
I am thankful Dusty is a bad ass mofo bus that hauled me and my kids a long distance without an issue.
I am thankful for the increasing abundance in my life (tomorrow’s topic: Abundance Manifested).
I am thankful for this beautiful home that I get to reconnect with my family.
I am thankful that my friend Colleen joined us and seems to be enjoying herself.
I am thankful for this bed.
I am thankful for the food I ate today.
I am thankful that I will be asleep very soon.
I am thankful for my new job.
I am thankful for losing my job.
I am thankful for the 2nd chance as awesomeness.
I am thankful that I can control my attitude and emotions.
I am thankful that I haven’t blown up.
I am thankful that I am not in crazy brain today.
I am thankful that I am learning and believing in my worthiness.
I am thankful that I know I am enough.
I am thankful for boundaries and new beliefs about my value.
I am thankful for my voice.
I am thankful for my friends.
I am thankful for youtube.
I am thankful for the lessons I learned from Dr. Joe Esperanza.
This is a jewel. I bought his book today. I am about to become even more extraordinary.
I have a lot to be thankful for and I plan to embrace and enhance my attitude of gratitude. Live it, believe it. Manifest it.