Day 12?? Going to the edge involves counting…? a little bit of a fail OR creative counting. Meh who cares!

If anyone ever goes back through and looks at my numeration, they will think I am incapable of counting. I skipped day 4 and there are two day 8s. I’m not going to re-number my days or my challenge. I will do a couple extra days. LOL. This is my life so of course, I will be doing ALL OF THE DAYS whether I count them or blog them, I’m in it to finish it and win it 😉

I finished my last 40 day kundalini practice with Mariya. She was a wonderful teacher. I am thinking about signing up for her transformation practice, but until I sign up I will be working with a new teacher.

Sat Nam: the truth is my identity

I decided to go for a walk to enjoy beautiful Michigan, JANUARY sunshine. It doesn’t happen that often and this sun child intends to enjoy every second of it!

While walking, I was ruminating on my intention for my walk. Last night’s moon ritual was extremely powerful for me and I want to solidify my dedication to 2019 intention: year of the Mother. That is a very simple statement that holds huge energy for embracing forgiveness, building connections with my birth children and other people, building relationships, protecting, creating, building, and so much more. 2019 is going to be an AMAZONing year of the mother. I wanted to meditate during my outdoor excursion on what year of the mother means to me.

As I walked, I asked Mother Earth to reveal to me the secrets of motherhood. She spoke quietly to my soul. She told me that being a mother is being strong and powerful. It is being someone that is willing to take chances to protect her “children”. It is having the strength to fight and the power to walk away from a battle if it means the betterment of her children. It means finding wisdom to keep learning so you can keep teaching. It means defending and protecting your people while acting in love. Being a mother means being creative in your finances and creative in finding entertainment and education opportunities. Being a mother means most of the time wondering if you are doing the right thing but also knowing that you are doing your absolute best. Other times it means not doing your best and falling on your face and picking yourself up, acknowledging your bs, and trying again. Being a mother is being strong when you want to cry, smiling, when you have no idea what you are doing, faking it til you make it almost every single day, wondering if you will ever have energy to do anything else, and then doing everything else. Being a mother means doing whatever it takes to feed, provide, protect, defend, build, create, nurture, and grow to make the world make sense to your “children”. #doingwhateverittakes #yearofthemothermfr2019 #juicy

Oh MOTHER EARTH!!! I am hearing you…as you gave me this song to reinforce all that I am and love about being me.

You see I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just fine
Feels so good, when you’re doing all the things that you want to do
Get the best out of life, treat yourself to something new
Keep your head up high
In yourself, believe in you, believe in me
Having a really good time, I’m not complaining
And I’m a still wear a smile if it raining
I got to enjoy myself regardless
I appreciate life, I’m so glad I got mine

You know I love music
And every time I hear something hot
It makes me wanna move
It makes me wanna have fun
But it’s something about this joint right here
This joint right here
Its makes me wanna, wooh

As Mary J sang this song to me, I embraced everything about me outside in the wonderful air,

feeling the sunshine on me,

loving my life,

and loving Mother Earth.

I started to dance, walking down the trails, loving my moves, my body, my life, and letting that love flow out of my body, my skin, my fingers, my legs, my ass, shaking, shimmying down the trail, claiming this land as a women’s land.

It will be ours someday. I know this.

Mary J goes on to tell me

Let it go
Can’t let this thing called love get away from you
Feel free right now, going do what you want to do
Can’t let nobody take it away, from you, from me, from we
No time for moping around, are you kidding
And no time for negative vibes, cause I’m winning
It’s been a long week, I put in my hardest
Gonna live my life, feels so good to get it right

YES, QUEEN!!! I will not let my go anymore. I will share my precious love and let you be you and I will be me.

GOT MY VIBE RIGHT. Yes, let the energy flow through me to Mother Earth and from Gaia to me and to you. gonna live my life, feels so good to get it right.

The lessons were deep this morning. I am thankful for taking the time to be in the sunshine, to revel in Mother’s offerings of sunshine, water, air, and wind.

Dream it. We will build it. They will come.

My quest for 2019 also includes the desire to build deeper connections with my people. I am willing to continue to go to the edge, reveal my emotions, my love, my fears, my vulnerability so we can go deeper. I trust the universe. There is no intimacy without vulnerability. If my quest for deeper and more meaningful connections is true, I will have to risk vulnerability in order to connect in a deeper level. Well shit, that’s just another opportunity for a face plant as I put myself and my raw emotions out there and hope that I am received with love and compassion. If not, splat. But without going to the edge, I miss the opportunity for the #juicy. #worthit

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